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acceptance, birthday, Brian Newberry, deerbrook edi, Deerbrook Editions, hot dog buns, husbands, ice cream, kindness, love, Martina Reisz Newberry, spousal abuse, supermarket
Tomorrow is my husband’s birthday. It will be busy and so I’m writing today about some of the amazing things about him. I could write about how sexy he is, how cute, how romantic, how funny. I guess most women think those things about their husbands. I want to talk about two things that I remember nearly every day of my life since I met him. He and these two things changed my life forever.
When we began dating, I was coming out of a frighteningly abusive marriage. I had been walking on eggs so long, I could barely think a coherent thought without flinching. I was afraid of EVERYTHING, embarrassed about EVERYTHING, a nervous wreck. Why my Brian ever wanted to date me, I’ll never know, but, praise the Maker, he did.
We were at a supermarket one day. I was choosing hot dog buns and, when i pulled out a package, a couple of the other packages dropped out on to the floor. As this kind of accident in the past usually brought on a deluge of anger and disgust from my ex, I began to apologize, shake a little, tear up. Brian, walked over to the buns, knocked a BUNCH of them onto the floor and laughed at the look of horror on my face. He said, “No harm done. We just pick them up and put them back.” And he did just that. He hugged me, laughed. ”Accidents happen,” he said and off we went.
On another trip to the supermarket, we were buying ice cream. I stood in front of the freezer doors for some looooong-ass minutes. Brian finally said, “What’s your favorite flavor?” My face redded up intensely. I had been bringing home my ex’s favorite flavors for 26 years, getting some severe abuse for picking the wrong flavors or the wrong brand. I told Brian that I couldn’t remember my favorite ice cream. He smiled big. ”Great,” he said, “we’ll just try them all and decide as we go along.” My sigh of relief must have been heard in Chicago (we were in Rancho Cucamonga). And we did exactly that: found things that were OUR favorites–mine, his, OURS. No harm, no foul was the new order of the day. I have delighted in that for the last 22 years with my Brian.
He is my life, my heart, my soul. He doesn’t yell, throw things, hit me, or call me names. He is seldom angry and almost never at me. He gave me a true re-birth. Lucky, lucky me. Thank you, Baby. Your birthday is tomorrow, but we will be busy, so this is today’s entry for you. Live long and prosper. I adore you.
I love it. What a long, strange trip it IS.
You honor me every day, and here on this blog post is no exception. And I wonder how many people will recognize the Star Trek AND Star Wars references (two of my favorite things).
Namaste Baby!